Once upon a time I read a book that talked about how we each make a plan and agenda before we are born on this planet. Sort of like a course curriculum, where we set up the lessons that we want to learn, the experiences we want to have, all to enhance our development as conscious beings.
To live in the physical body and to dwell upon the earth is an extraordinary gift. Not all souls are given this opportunity. It is an honor to be here. A lifetime on Earth provides a unique environment for our souls to learn and grow through physicality, through connection and through experience. We do this over and over. One time we are the King, the next a pirate, a begger, Mother Teresa.
The thing is – we get caught up with the experiences and forget about our soul and our agenda. The soul becomes a concept, not our lifeline. We are like naughty kids who have attention deficit disorder, off running around, getting in trouble. Living the drama and thinking that this is all there is.
One day I got to thinking that my soul must be incredibly patient with me. Sighing as I get distracted with the excitement of the day, getting caught up in endless cycles of grief, depression and anger. Forgetting who I am, and why I am here.
It occurred to me to invite my soul to have this life I am living now. My soul has let me have my way over and over, lifetime after lifetime. I figured it was time to give something back. I wanted my soul to have the experiences IT wanted to have, finally.
And, as in so many of my pivotal, innocent decisions I had no idea what I had just committed myself to.
Everything changed. All the things in my life that defined me at that time were removed. Partner, job, home, family. I went through a period of de-construction of self perception, of internal rules, metrics and judgments. At the same time I was given experiences that expanded my understanding of how to work with, communicate with and fuse with my soul.
I began painting from inspiration, from intuition, from the heart. This taught me to listen and act without question.
I learned many different healing techniques and they all came easily to me. Like I was just being reminded. I learned to open myself, to allow my soul to take charge of the moment, using the energy of Love and Light to enable others’ self transformation – often known as healing.
I was taken through some very trying times. The usual litany, of course. The tug and pull of heart-wrenching relationships, the descent from being well off to virtually penniless, losing my home to foreclosure, getting scammed out of thousands of dollars. All intended not to punish but to kick up all the sludge. Anger, fear, betrayal and shame.
And my beautiful soul did this to quickly help me strengthen a litany of lighter attributes – trust, forgiveness, patience, compassion and acceptance. Mind you, I am very much still a work in process but I can sense some of the rough edges are beginning to smooth out.
Inviting my soul to have its day changed my life. All the lessons sped up. Setting intentions of manifestation would not work for me. Once committed to this path my life was no longer about me and about attracting money, men or nice homes. It took me a while to figure that out. Parlor tricks, from Spirit’s point of view. There is a much bigger game afoot.
Only, I don’t know what it is. My soul keeps its own counsel on the long-range view of my life. I am quite sure it is for my own good. It keeps me
out of trouble. Keeps me from trying to take back control, from thinking I know what’s best. It keeps me in the moment, keeps me curious and attentive, and keeps me flexible and responsive.
These are the new rules of the road when traveling the Soul’s Way. Each time I try to go back and live by the old rules my life is full of struggle. When I keep to the new rules we are great traveling companions and I go farther than I ever could have imagined and experience things I never would have dreamed. When I keep to the new rules I dwell in that ‘Peace that goes beyond understanding’. It really exists, and it is solid, powerful, huge. It’s like being a beautiful tree whose roots go deep, deep into the Light, anchored, connected and nourished.
It has been a wild ride. One that has, at times, kept me hanging on for my dear life. It has changed everything about me, about my life. And I wouldn’t change a day of it.
I wrote once about offering a gift to Spirit to open the way to positive dialogue. The gift I offered that day, and continue to offer every day, is my life. And it has made all the difference.
